Childhood Antics

This blurry image was taken in mid-2015 on my iPhone-whatever-model-was-out-then. I'm surprised by how blurry it looks, which makes me realize 2015 was longer ago in the world of technology than I had previously realized. Sometimes I wish my selfies still had this level of blur...

In 2015, my husband and I were about 1 year into owning our house in the Eastown neighborhood of Grand Rapids, Michigan... and we had just decided to move to New York. That meant downsizing from a 4 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom apartment. So, I had to go through my things.

I took this picture of a pile of just a few of the many books I wrote as a kid. A few observations:

• Slight obsession with mountain climbing (fun fact: I watched the movie Vertical Limit every day for over a month and, when I was told we had to go on a road trip for a wedding and I wouldn't have access to the DVD player or TV, I used a self-tape recorder to record the audio to the movie Vertical Limit and narrated the visuals myself so I could continue to relive the torture)
• Did I think I had to sign the front of everything I wrote to legitimize it, like a painting?
• These are pretty short -- maybe more like a short story or novella -- though that WWIII book was probably around a hundred pages
• I spent hours drawing the "mountain" on the cover of the book in the middle in Microsoft Paint

When shaking hands became an anachronism

"Dr. Fauci says Americans should never shake hands again due to coronavirus"

- New York Post

Future period-piece creators - writers, directors, actors, and so on - will have to diligently identify and represent whether they are pre- or post- COVID-19 for a number of reasons. Seems like shaking hands will be one of them, right?

A few months ago, shaking hands was commonplace. Meeting a new colleague, someone's parents, anyone at a work or recruiting event, you shook hands.

It's about to be an anachronism. It will say something about you that you shake hands. 

What else needs to go on this list?

A Sacrifice for Your Own Greater Good

We put our 14+ year old black lab down last week and, if I am being honest with myself, I was unprepared for the grief rollercoaster that ensued. I had never fully grieved before, not as an adult with a fully-formed brain.

I knew the first day would be hard, but thought my life would keep moving; I didn't realize that grief stops everything. It's not an emotion you experience side-by-side with your normal life. Your normal life stops.

I thought I could attend a zoom workout the next day. I thought I could be the strong one, knowing my husband would be in shambles. I thought I would be up for a virtual happy hour with friends or family. And I was wrong.

On day three, I took a shower; I considered that a "win." Other than some viscious hangovers during my early 20s, I'm not sure I've ever considered a shower a "win" before, but now I get it.

There is something freeing about considering the small things wins. Cancelling your to-do list for several days at a time. Not picking up phone calls you can't handle. Giving yourself a pass. Not pressuring yourself to work out.

It's amazing what takes its place. Long conversations with no agenda. Authentic emotional adventure with no time limit. Depths of thought often left untouched between the day's appointments and tasks. It took grief for that to materialize in my life in such a real and valuable way -- but it didn't have to.

We are all making sacrifices right now for the greater good of our local, national, and global societies. We are staying home when we'd prefer to go out and avoiding each other when we would rather be face to face. I wonder if some of us could 'sacrifice' productivity for our own greater good, kick the to-do list goodbye and get some true mental rejuvenation -- without waiting for life to force it upon us.

**Also of note: 

• This interview with David Kessler on the collective grief we are experiencing during the COVID-19 crisis
• This podcast with Brené Brown and David Kessler on finding meaning in grief